See it, Smell it, Taste it....yep, That's Fall!
Oh crap! Goodbye sunshine, warm earth, dry grass, tanks and flops..."Hellooooo" sweaters, scarfs, mittens, jeans, boots and more boots, wet roads, chilly nights, and cold noses. FALL is back! Don't get me wrong, it is such a beautiful time of year followed by a long grey streak that prevents vitamin D from settling into your bones causing a ridiculous amount of coffee consumption. I anticipate that I will fall into this category again this fall/winter and I'm willing to accept that. Last year we moved here around this time. We left sunshine and sweetness to live in a mysterious grey yet hopeful climate and I thought I wasn't going to make it. Poor Raul had to deal with my craziness and irrational behavior almost to the point where depression was setting in. I wouldn't get out of bed, I wouldn't get dressed. I would bundle up, drink a POT of coffee and hunt for employment while Raul went to work. I'm sure Raul including my dogs pray that I will not be that way again.
Don't worry guys, I've got my shit together, finally, and I'm way too busy to let depression or grey set in. I promise!
With Fall comes Fall Quarter. I am surrounded by 18 year old young bucks! It is so interesting how their world is viewed in comparison to someone who has somewhat of a life experience, a degree, and the lack of financial support from mommy and daddy....I'm more envious then judgemental. I just think to myself...."Self, why did it take you so long to get your shit together to decide to go to Nursing school?! If you would have taken some of these classes a little more seriously like pulling something higher than a C in Psychology, you wouldn't have to re-take this motha!" (Sigh)
Lets get to that dream shall we?!
This morning I had a very uncomfortable dream. I was in this setting of a home, not really sure if I was at my parents or mine and I was reuniting with loved ones and as usual I wasn't going to be able to stay very long so I was in a sense saying goodbye. Well...all of a sudden I see a red book (which some people will totally get) and a date of August 9th and once I saw that date I realized that I had died and I was in the present as a ghost saying goodbye. Once I realized this an instantaneous rush of panic set in, my superficial heart started beating harder and I began screaming to my mom, "I don't want to be put into the ground, I don't want to be buried!" Pleading for my "spiritual" life to not begin to my mother was unbearable to the point that I woke up one minute before my alarm clock went off......WTF!
2 comments:
I hope... for Raul's sake... that you can stay a happy chipper person this winter! I don't think that I could handle living somewhere like that! I have a hard time getting out of bed before the sun comes up... I have decided that I am not going to give in, so even though I have nowhere to go and nothing I have to do... I set my alarm for 6:30 and get my but out of bed! I know... I'm weird, but if I stay in bed I just feel crappy all day! So, good luck to you! P.S. that was a freaky dream... glad I haven't had one like that yet!
Oh, how sweet that you mentioned the red book, even though it was part of a disturbing dream. I think it's normal for us all to be preoccupied with what you dreamed about right now.
Being in the gloomy PNW weather I love so much down to my roots...can be vicious right after a loss that has clearly not stopped shaking you as it manifests itself in your dreams even still. Your awareness of it makes me less worried for you. Your post about doing nice things for yourself shows me that you will kick that weather's ass and be a true Seattlite after surviving 4 seasons of it.
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