Protection from the back

I just want a little protection, is that so much to ask? Yes, I'm talking to you, toilet seat protector! Why can't you just stay on the seat? Why can't you stay in one piece when I try to detach the middle. Instead you fall into the still water and ruin your one soul purpose in this world, that is to protect me. Why do you rip in half when I try to open you? I wish you and I could cooperate toilet seat cover. If it is my fault I will work on being more sensitive. But I need some help on yourside. Just stay on the seat, just stay in once piece, just give me some protection from the back.

Until we meet again....